Monday, October 25, 2010

Today was one of those days I wasn't too sure whether to look forward to or hide from. Amazing how a few hours in the morning can set the tone for the day.

I got up this morning knowing that I had to go to town ( that sounds like such a journey, it is about 25 minutes one way so not that bad) and that I would be better off going early. Go in early, get finished, and get home right? If I go in later it is a lot harder because Brylee gets up from her nap around two and by the time I get back it is a rush to get stalls cleaned, horses fed, dinner on, and all that fun evening stuff. So I decided the morning run would be best.

That is when the drama started. As soon as Bodie realized that school would not start as usual at 9:00, his whole world came crashing in on him. Like I said a few hours can set the whole tone.

He cried, not just a little whining, but full out laying across the bed sobbing.

Now I am not a very emotional person, so sometimes it is very hard for me to know how to respond to his emotions. I'll be honest, the first thought that runs through my head is how much I want to laugh at the theatrics of it all. And I do smile....LOUDLY inside my head. ( I do that a lot) My second thought is ok this is pretty normal for this age, and then another thought,........isn't it? Third thought.......how long do I let this go on before I tell him that's enough? 

I honestly don't know the answers to those last questions, although a friend assured me she has dealt with many such days, which at least made me feel like it must be fairly normal. But, I still wonder what is the best way to react to such an outburst? 

I tried to explain to him that we were still going to do school, it was just a delay. Explaining really was a waste of energy. There was no way that was going to comfort him. 

In the end I let him cry his eyes out, the tears subsided......eventually and we were able to load up in the car. Before we pulled out of the driveway, I said a prayer out loud about disappointment and how sometimes when our plans get changed for the day, it can end up being a better day than we thought it would. ( see, Lee, I was listening Sunday) Mostly, I think I was praying for myself that I would not pull my hair out from all the drama, although I did not specifically say that, just a small mention of attitudes getting better.

Later, though, I was reflecting on the days events and realized it really isn't that different for me. The only difference is that I am not five with my emotions on my sleeves. Yet, I honestly can't say I handle my disappointments that much better. No, I don't throw myself on the bed and cry my eyes out. I don't stomp my feet and scream.  Maybe I would feel better if I did. I get sullen and quiet, or I get short with my kids. Sometimes when my day gets messed up, I feel rushed and gripe at the kids because they aren't moving as fast as I think they should. My plans get rearranged and I don't find myself praying to God asking to find the good in the day. I find myself being irritated, frustrated, impatient. It really isn't all that different except in the end after all his crying, he probably felt better. Indeed, he had a pretty good day. Where as I think for myself I would have felt worse because I probably would have said or done things that did not make anyone feel better. In the end I have to conclude that kids have a way of showing our weaknesses to us even when they aren't trying to.

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